


I. Hate. Them.

by CertifiedPissWizard



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Multi, Other, also this will have a happy ending, hanahaki, if i write out the all the relationships that are endgame i will die, im filled with hubris, lyf is very tired, they also fall for marius twice because they have taste although it may be bad taste, who knows - Freeform, yes thats right this is a hanahaki fic and i have another one on the way
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:01:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23285938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CertifiedPissWizard/pseuds/CertifiedPissWizard
Summary: They decide to fucking do something around it right around the time that they cough out a sunflower onto the floor of their office. They almost choked to death on it, which is ridiculous, because Hanahaki is supposed to kill you from the roots tearing up the lining of your lungs. Everyone knows this.In which Lyf falls in love, gets sick, stops both of those, and then does it all over again but with like six whole people.
Relationships: Lyfrassir Edda/Marius von Raum, polymechs
Comments: 6
Kudos: 81





	I. Hate. Them.

They decide to fucking do something around it right around the time that they cough out a sunflower onto the floor of their office. They almost choked to death on it, which is ridiculous, because Hanahaki is supposed to kill you from the roots tearing up the lining of your lungs. Everyone knows this. As such, Lyf thinks, they’ll either have to get the surgery for the twentieth time in their life, something that their parents will never let them live down ever in their whole life, or they’ll have to engage in communication and risk getting rejected and then having to get the surgery. On the bright side, it isn’t like they have to walk too far to get to the dick responsible for tricking Lyf into falling love with him. They also have a gift they can bring as well. They pick the blood and spit slick sunflower off the ground, and they decide to go confront their problems like their therapist has been telling them to do for years.

“Von Raum,” they decide to go into it announcing their presence, because that’s the sort of thing that feels appropriate in this moment.

“Ah! Inspect- What’s that?” Lyf shoves the flower at him and hopes their glower conveys the sentiment behind it. “Why are you giving me a flower?” Of course Lyf is either in love with someone who’s an idiot or knows absolutely nothing about the Ygdrassil system. It’s just the way this thing normally goes. “Why is is so disgusting?” Lyf facepalms.

“Von Raum. I’m saying this slowly so it might sink in. You see,” people in the Ygdrassil system had always been blessed with this gift. Gift, of course, in this case is a dual meaning. On the one hand it is a gift because it tells you that you are in love, and on the other hand it will kill you if when told the one you love doesn’t reciprocate. Nobody knows why, but it’s something that is woven into the core of everyone in the system. There’s no known genetic link, and it doesn’t solely affect people from the system in the system either. “Is that clear enough, von Raum?” la Cognizi and Alexandria are giving them a look.

“I still don’t get why you’re giving me a flower.” Lyf is a morosexual. They’re going to get the surgery and fall in love with Alexandria instead. She seems smart. That would be easier than dealing with von Raum.

“Von Raum. Are you a moron? Are you really that stupid? Are you incapable of reading between the lines, which are in this situation very far apart? I’m, quite regretably, in love with you.” They stare at him, daring him to give a response and also praying he’ll respond soon. It takes time to get in for a surgery when it comes down to it, and Lyf probably doesn’t have too much time.

“Why?” Nevermind, Lyf is no longer in love with von Raum. Nonexistant romance with von Raum is cancelled. Alexandria is their true love now. “You hate me.” Of course von Raum says that like an accusation.

“You irk me, and yet, regretably, I dream of kissing you under the moonlight.” They can feel their glower grow worse. They just should have decided to deal with their mothers’ mockery. It would be better than being looked at like that by von Raum, like they are some strange eldritch being who is utterly inscrutable.

“I do believe I could make that happen, Inspector Lyf.” von Raum is smiling suddenly. They raise an eyebrow. “I love you too.” Lyf doubles over coughing. There are a lot of plants that come out, and they barely breathe at all. By the time all is said and done they are barely conscious and there are three sunflower plants with large blooms on the ground. “Are you alright?” von Raum sounds concerned. They turn to face him rapidly, perhaps too rapidly. They were already on the verge of passing out, and the quick motion of their head knocks them out all the way.

* * *

They ignore the first petal. It isn’t good practice to do that, of course. Still, it’s happened to Lyf too many times for it to be of much concern. Typically, despite the fact that it is love, they can talk themself out of it. Typically. They keep coughing up petals, and they don’t know who it is that they’ve fallen in love with. It isn’t any of their coworkers, and it definitely isn’t the prisoners. Just because they always feel lighter and happier after bickering with von Raum doesn’t mean anything. It just means yelling at him is good stress relief even though that happens with nobody else. Just because they like the way he smiles when he gets them really worked up doesn’t mean anything. Neither does the fantasizing about kissing him. They aren’t in love with von Raum, and they do their best to make that clear to him.

If doing their best to make that clear to him means interacting with the prisoners more then that’s just a plus.

The petals get worse. It’s not whole flowers yet which means they aren’t too far gone and they can definitely make themself stop being in love. It isn’t that hard. That’s a lie. It is, in fact that hard. Lyf only got so good at doing it after years of practice. It isn’t working, either. von Raum has a remarkably nice laugh. They enjoy bickering with him. They wish they could kiss him. It’s. It’s a lot, really. They love him, and they don’t know what to do with that, because they very much should not have any sort of amorous inclinations towards a prisoner. That’s not something that is remotely okay for them to feel. They do their best to tamp it down and the petalls keep coming, and even when they aren’t coughing petals they can hear the rattle in their lungs from where the flowers have grown in. They take that feeling, that discomfor and shove it down to focus on their job.

They don’t have much to do, though. People don’t really do transit crimes. The most they do is investigate occasional piracy, which isn’t boring by any means, but for the most part they’re just stuck doing paperwork. The system is stable. Odin’s death destabilized things for a while, of course, but that doesn’t really mean much in the grand scheme of things, because things did end up restabilizing. They don’t wish they were born back then, of course, but it would have been easier to get promoted. They also wouldn’t have had to deal with being in love with von Raum, partly because they would have died years ago from the necessary surgeries to remove the plants simply not existing back then. They wouldn’t have had to live daydreaming of von Raum and his smug face.

That would have been a horribly loss, though, they think. He has a very nice face when he isn’t busy being an asshole. It’s very nice. It’s honestly unfair.

He’s also funny too, which is once again unfair.

They also partially want to ask him to teach them the violin, just for the purpose of getting to be close to him. Or maybe they could ask him to braid their- and none of this can happen because they are a cop and von Raum is an asshole, a criminal, and also their prisoner. They cough up more petals. They come in a clump, this time. A couple of sunflower seeds come out as well. They decide to grab a pot and some soil. Maybe taking up gardening could help them fall out of love. At the ver least it would be interesting to see if the seeds germinate.

The gardening doesn’t help them fall out of love as the seasons pass. The amounts of petals grow as the sunflowers planted from the seeds they coughed up grow. They have a lovely color to them, not normal for sunflowers. Not that Lyf has been reading about sunflowers because they’re von Raum’s favorite flower, of course. That would be ridiculous. They would never do something for a reason like that. Their sunflowers are doing well, and Lyf is saving the seeds. Like a lovesick fool. They are lovesick, of course, but they do like to pretend that they aren’t a fool.

* * *

It doesn’t last. Von Raum said he didn’t want to have to see them die. They avoid the prisoners, and they get the surgery. Their mothers, surprisingly, don’t tease them overmuch.

* * *

The first time they see von Raum and the other prisoners is sixth months later. They still like gardening. It’s pleasant. Sunflowers are so bright, they think. They like them, despite the fact that they almost died from them. What they don’t like is two things. The black box doesn’t work, and they have to go and talk to the prisoners. von Raum looks almost upset when Lyf takes his violin away. They should have been doing it in the past, but they had ridiculously unprofessional feelings. When they leave they think they catch la Cognizi and Alexandria comforting him. It doesn’t matter, because they don’t care and don’t understand why he’d be upset.

Their system burns. Well, it doesn’t burn. It’s consumed within the shifting, bubbling, maddening rainbow form of Yog Sothoth as it stretches slowly out of its prison beyond our reality. They’re caught up in it, don’t quite get out. Then they do get out, though. They get out, and everything is strange and wrong. They get hit with a sudden wave of longing for when their biggest issue was how the prisoners would be annoying them that day. That was nice. They quash the longing. They need to keep going and going and ignore the fact that parts of their hair appear to look almost like an oil slick, with hints of rainbow floating around within it. They sleep rarely, eat just enough, and they run as far and as much as they can, far past Hoddmimis.

It’s a long way before they finally find a place they feel safe resting on, and they go to that planet and get a job and sleep in their ship. They have nightmares upon nightmares and hear the whispering songs in languages that they cannot understand. They see the undulating forms of those who have been changed beyond recognition. They see the many eyed form of Yog Sothoth. It laughs at them, and it tells them terrible secrets that burn through their mind. They wake. They go to work. They sleep. They hear the dark secrets of the universe. It’s honestly dull, as time goes by. You can get used to almost anything, and Lyf does.

Then the Mechs show up again.

* * *

Von Raum looks at them, sitting on their couch, knees pressed, and he tells them he needs to talk about something important. Lyf is still have dazed half breathless from the kiss they just shared and nods.

“I. I don’t want to love you and have to watch you die eventually. What I’m saying is that it’s over, Lyf. I’m sorry.” They yell at him to get out. When he leaves they cry, they kick over their stupid sunflowers, they’re just trash plants. They call their mothers. They cry. They cough up petals. They call their surgeon. She makes a joke that at this point she should just reserve an OR for them. They don’t stop crying or coughing up petals, and at one point it feels almost as if Lyf cried a petal instead of a tear. Wouldn’t that be funny? Crying the petals of his favorite flower? After he left them just like that, without a proper conversation, no build up, just straight up out of nowhere, and it hurts worse because they don’t know if he actually loves them and that’s why or if this was an excuse.

They’re bleeding from where the pot for the sunflowers shattered against their kick. They don’t bother cleaning it, they should, but suddenly it feels important to save the stupid fucking flowers that they hate.

* * *

Von Raum looks ecstatic to see them again, although they can hardly say the same. His face doesn’t fall, and he still looks at Lyf like he’s never seen a sight more beautiful than their grouchy face. They wish that they could care, but they’ve felt so numb since leaving behind all they knew for it to be consumed. It isn't healthy, they know, but what else is there to do. von Raum pulls out his stupid violin. They snap at him, and he brightens even further. la Cognizi and Alexandria give them both a look. Lyf wishes that one of those two would try to annoy them for once. They’d probably be creative about it, at the very least.

* * *

They’ve been on the ship with the Mechs for months now when they find themself coughing up petals. The ridiculous thing is the number of petals, the sheer variety. Sunflowers and morning glories and carnations and dahlias and tulips and lavender. It’s ridiculous, and the fact that they’ve managed to fall in love again and with six people at that is ridiculous. The especially ridiculous thing is that morning glories basically only have the one petal so they’re practically coughing up whole flowers, just missing the internal parts. None of that changes how awkward this is. It also doesn’t change the fact that there’s no way any of the Mechs are interested in them. Why would they be? Lyf is just Lyf, and as Marius pointed out once, Lyf will die one day. None of them will.

The hilarious thing is that they’re going to die sooner rather than later because they’re in love with people who wouldn’t love them back because of the fact that they’re going to die. Well, on the plus side, it’s a very funny way for them to go out in the grand scheme of things. Could be worse. It also could be a lot better, but what are they going to do about it? Confess their feelings? Yeah. That’s never going to happen.


End file.
